Features

Senioritis; widespread pandemic feared

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bbbbbannerIt’s that time of year. With only five weeks until the end of the year, seniors across the Bethel campus are becoming infected with the paralyzing condition known as senioritis. Most dictionaries remain silent on this important subject, but Wiktionary.org (an online publication remarkable for its inclusion of words such as “noob” and “pwn”) has a handy definition: “a tendency of high school [or college] seniors to skip class or otherwise slack due to a desire to move on.” To determine whether senioritis is a concern at Bethel College, “The Bethel Beacon” searched for students with symptoms of the condition. “Nothing’s coming to mind at the moment,” said senior Bret Stevens, a stellar example of a senior afflicted with senioritis. “I would much rather spend my time hanging out with friends than keeping my nose in a book,” said senior Rose Geertz. “I have to force myself to work on homework. After getting so much done, I give myself some sort of reward to motivate myself to keep going. I am not a fan of the consequences of this thing we call senioritis.” Senior Rachel Miller was particularly emphatic. “I hate my senioritis!” she said. Among the students of Bethel College are survivors of the condition. Many high school students fall prey to senioritis, but overcome it and enter college with renewed enthusiasm. “I definitely suffered from senioritis in high school,” said junior Justin Mauchmar. “I had already been accepted into college, so I didn’t see much point in school.” The truly alarming thing about senioritis is its capability to spread to victims who aren’t seniors — rather like bird flu, which can be transmitted to human beings from chickens. Even underclassmen are susceptible to senioritis. Be ye warned. If you or a loved one is suffering from senioritis, there are steps that can be taken to minimize the harmful effects of the condition. First of all, use YouTube and Facebook in moderation. This is just common sense. The Internet is a useful tool, but has brought about the downfall of many a well-meaning student. It’s easy to follow one link to another link, to another link, to another link, until it’s 3 a.m. and all hope of completing those homework assignments has evaporated. It would probably be easier to convert a tiger to vegetarianism than to convince a college student to get more sleep. Regardless, adequate sleep is essential to students’ well-being. Lack of sleep only aggravates the already-serious condition of senioritis. How can a tired student be motivated to work on anything? In the event that adequate sleep is absolutely impossible, coffee may serve as a temporary substitute. Finally, it is helpful to keep a positive perspective. Yes, the end of the year is near. But that should be incentive to finish well, not to slack off. Remember, setting a goal and holding yourself to it is the most effective method of overcoming senioritis.
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